Top Ten Reasons I love being an author

It's been almost a year since I debuted with my novel Dead Frog on the Porch a mystery adventure for children ages 8-12. The second in the Megabyte Mystery series Dead Bird through the Cat Door will be out in November - stay tuned for deets of a book launch! Needless to say it's been an eventful year.

I've learned a lot, eaten cake with the book cover etched in icing and had some great emails from young fans. I thought I'd share what I've learned with my bloggowers and in a nod to David Letterman, it's written as a top ten list.  

The top ten reasons I love being an author:

10. I can call myself an author or a novelist.

9.  I can divert all attention to me in a conversation by uttering a random phrase like: "... last year when I was on my book tour."


8. I can furnish my house with random vagabond furniture and friends excuse it with a wave of the hand and a mumbled "she's a writer." 


7. I never have to dig out my weeds


6. Reading books and watching movies is homework.

5. The official beverage of writers' world wide is red wine. 





4. Bloggers who are teachers and school librarians, who love books for middle grade readers, do reviews of my book like: The O.W.L. (Outrageously Wonderful Literature) and FernFolio.   


3. I can wear a multitude of multi-couloured bracelets that stretch the length of my forearm and call it artistic. 



2. I love, love, love using the phrases: my publisher and my senior editor


And the number one reason I love being a writer is:


1. I can get my ISBN number tattooed on my butt!


Using a 'top ten' list is one technique to get more funny out of your writing. This is one of the exercises I do with my adult students in the Writing with Humour class I teach at Chinook Learning Services Calgary Board of Education. The course runs for a full day on Saturday November 20th and again on November 22 and 29th in the evenings. 


Comments

Lori Hahnel said…
International Standard Butt Number?
Jan Markley said…
LOL Lori! That's hilarious! I did find a pic of a guy who'd tattooed an ISBN on the back of his neck but it looked a little hairy ...
I love the red wine part. May even be worth becoming a writer for that!
CJ Gosling said…
:D I love red wine, and none of my furniture would dare match anything in my house! I loved your list as well. :) Thanks for making me laugh!
Anne R. Allen said…
Ain't it grand? LOVE the picture of the book hug!
Dawn said…
What a great list! Hmmm. I never considered THAT tattoo, but I'm so doing that. Maybe not on my butt...but we'll see.
Jan Markley said…
Leanne: Yes, red wine is one of the perks!
Thanks CJ - and then there are those people who have all their tupperware lined up - I'm just not that organized.
Anne - I love that pic as well, it was fitting to the post!
Thanks Dawn - can't wait to see your ISBN tattoo!
Jade said…
You should totally get the tattoo, but maybe somewhere else, otherwise you won't be able to show people when you're out in public. I mean, you could...
Jan Markley said…
Jade, who knows ... maybe I already have it ;-j (I'm too much of a chicken about the needles and the pain)!
Michelle McLean said…
Love, love, love the list! And really love that pic at the end LOL I may have to print that out and frame it :D
LTM said…
wait... I already do many of these things! :D but I can't wait to do #1!!! ;p

P.S.
Love the quote~
Jan Markley said…
Thanks Michelle! It is a great emotive pic!

Leigh: I'm sure you'll get to tattoo your ISBN on your butt sooner rather than later! ;-j
I love this post, Jan.

# 1 rocks. Though I think I prefer the Thumper tattooed on my butt.

#6 is definitely my favorite part. YA books and movies sure beat the medical reprints I used to read as a drug rep.

And I love the "Please do not ... " message. I might have to paint that on my bedroom door.

Your class sounds great. Unfortunately it clashes with the kids' gymnastics class.
Jan Markley said…
Thanks Stina! They have mugs that say something like 'stop annoying me or I'll kill you in my next book.'
Ishta Mercurio said…
LOL about #1 and the part at the end about an annoyed writer putting you in a book and killing you.

I'm TOTALLY going to go find that mug now...

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