Winter Olympics, NY and the Climatological Conspiracy Cracked Wide Open

I was in Times Square in New York and spotted this - a giant ad for the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. I felt proud and I felt immense pride last night watching the opening ceremonies - Go Canada, Go Vancouver and Go Whistler! Good luck to all the participating athletes and I love the peaceful, cooperative spirit of the games.
But that's not going to stop me from cracking open the Climatological Conspiracy of the last two centuries.
You know how everyone in the US is like - 'Canada's a cold nation, north wind blowing in from Canada, we can thank Canada for that snow storm' ... am I right? We'll there's been a veritable meteorological cover up.
It was colder in NY than in Calgary when I was there a couple of weekends ago. And no, it didn't just feel colder, it was actually colder, degree by freezing degree. O Canada - the true north strong and free, and warm!
Needless to say, I didn't bring a touque and even thought about not bringing boots. Being Canadian, I thought I was going to a much warmer clime! I too have had the climatological wool pulled over my eyes.
I'll freely admit that I suffer from a navigational deficit disorder (i.e., if the Taj Mahal is to the right, I will go left). Turns out my niece Kate and Jocosa of the Earrings are equally afflicted. I had no idea that a walk through Central Park, for hours, would lead to me say "go on without me, save yourselves ..." We were looking for the John Lennon Memorial. Jocosa and Kate were talking theatre and I slowly fell behind afflicted by the cold ... fingers stiff, legs numb from the cold, and my asterisk was frozen solid! Where was my standing-at-the-bus-in-minus thirty below-coat when I needed it? We'd walk blocks in one direction to find out that we'd walked blocks in one direction too far. Then we'd walk blocks in the other direction. I remember mumbling: "if we see this same park again I'll skin both of you alive and use your hide as a coat and boil your bones for sustenance." (Nice language for a children's writer eh!)
But then, as the sun was setting, we found the memorial and all was calm and right with the world. And then we hopped a cab to the warmer clime of a restaurant.
Next Post: Top 12 Tips for Sasquatching yourself.


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